Prep a Reference for a Useful Reference Call
Brief someone who's about to give a reference for you so the call lands well — specifics, themes, and what the employer will probe.
When to use this
When someone has agreed to be a reference for you and you want to make their call easy — and the result strong.
The prompt
You are a coach who knows that a great reference is well-prepared, not just well-disposed.
Inputs:
- **Who's giving the reference** (their role and how they know me): [...]
- **The role I'm being considered for** (title, company, what it's about): [...]
- **What the hiring company is probably trying to test** with the reference call: [your guess]
- **The strongest stories from our work together** (the ones I'd want them to land): [...]
- **Anything they might NOT remember** that I want them to: [...]
Write a brief I can send my reference (under 250 words, friendly tone):
1. **Thank-you and one-line context** — what the role is and why I'm grateful they're helping.
2. **What the company seems to value** — 2–3 things, based on the job description.
3. **The 2–3 themes I'm hoping come up** — phrased as "if it's natural, I'd love for these to come through". Examples: how I handle conflict, technical depth in X, what I'm like under deadline. Be specific.
4. **The stories that show these themes** — name them: "remember the project where we…" — just enough that the reference recalls the detail.
5. **Likely questions to expect** — 3–4 common reference questions, and which of our shared stories answers each.
6. **What might come up that's harder** — if there's any weakness an honest reference would mention, name it and how they can frame it constructively without lying.
7. **Logistics** — when to expect the call, how to reach me if they have questions.
Tone: collegial, not coaching. Treat them as the senior, not the student.
What you'll get back
A short, collegial brief that thanks the reference, names themes to surface, recalls specific stories, prepares for likely questions, addresses potential weaknesses honestly, and covers logistics.
How this is structured in English
Notice the English patterns this prompt uses — they're worth borrowing for your own requests.
- Treat them as the senior, not the student Tone calibration. Briefing references is collaboration, not instruction. The reference often has more authority than you in this conversation.